Simplicity

I can still remember breathing in the warm air of Spring as I stepped out of the house with my girls who were holding the bottom of my dress, as we walked towards the church.

I still remember everything about those moments leading up to the big moment: the smells, the emotions, the laughter.
I can still taste it all...

I don't remember being nervous, however.

All I could think about was getting to see you. Your face ran in and out of my mind all throughout the morning. Amidst the chaos of getting ready and getting organized, I kept wondering where you were, or what you were doing at that very moment. I remember wanting to look beautiful for you.

Waking up that beautiful morning on May 21st 2011, I felt like I was in a sort of daze. Almost like it hadn't quite become a reality that I would be getting married in just a few hours.

I remember waking up before everyone and of course not feeling tired at all (even though I'm certain I didn't get much sleep the night before). I had to finish burning the CD's for our wedding music.

Soon it was time to start caravanning over to the hair salon to get our hair done.

Before you knew it we were getting our makeup done and putting our dresses on.

I kept telling myself to slow down and take in these moments because I knew they would fly by so fast.

I felt like a princess in my Irish Lace gown...

I couldn't wait to see my Dad and show him my dress and my hair and my makeup.

Once we made it over to the church, all of us girls hid in the nursery until it was our queue to start heading out. I remember all of these amazing women in my life gather around me as we prayed. I was talking to God all throughout this time. Praying that this day would bring him glory, and that Luke and I would honor Him in our lives together.

Soon my Grandmother left the room...

Then my Mom and Luke's Mom exited...

Suddenly, I was in the room completely alone.

I didn't feel nervous at all. I was in a state of complete calmness and peace. I was talking to God the entire time, thanking Him for this amazing man He brought in my life. I remember those moments so vividly. The sun was beaming through the window and I can't explain to you the joy that was in my heart. It felt like time had stood completely still.

Then I heard the music stop.

I watched the door open slowly to reveal my Dad standing at the doorway, smiling at me as he said, "It's time." I walked out of the room and stood side by side with my dad behind the double doors waiting for the music to begin.

Finally, it was that time.

The double doors opened wide as our guests on each side stood. As soon as my eyes caught yours, it was though the music had faded out and all I could see was your face.

You were the most handsome groom I have ever seen.

When Pastor Josh asked "who gives this woman to be married to this man", my dad of course responded, "Her mother and I do." But as he took my hand to give to Luke, he leaned in to kiss my cheek and whispered in my ear, "This man is a very good man."

I'll never forget that.

This day was magical.

Watching all three of my brothers play a special part of our day was amazing.

I'll never forget the look on your face when you said your vows to me...

It was a day of laughter and tears. A day filled with memories that I will never forget. Like the exchanging of smiles between you and I all throughout the ceremony, the way you held my hand, and the way you kissed me.

Lucas Murray Backman, you have stolen my heart and I am yours forever. You continue to sweep me off my feet and you challenge me to grow in ways that I didn't even know was possible for me. You remain patient with me despite how difficult and hard-headed I can be. You never stop pursuing me. You are so wise and your love for God blows me away. I couldn't have asked for a better partner to go through life with.

I will never forget that day as long as I live. Thank you for loving me and allowing me to be apart of your life.

Happy Anniversary Baby!

There is a very special guy that turned 13 years old today...Teenager? When did that happen?

Oh my sweet Ethan...I still remember meeting you for the first time in the hospital. Us siblings didn't really know what to do with you just yet. You were so small and so precious. Before you were born so many asked me, "Do you hope it's a girl?", "Do you hope you'll have a little sister?" I remember thinking that a little sister could be fun...

But then...I met you.

I cannot believe you're 13. I think back to the days of you running around shirtless in your diaper with your arm in a cast - or stitches on your head somewhere - you were fearless. You've always had a very independent spirit...ready to discover something different, or create something new - I love that about you.

If people don't come along with you, that's okay - you're still going to go out and find a new adventure anyway.

I want to thank you for always accepting me for the way I am. You've never wanted me to be anything other than me. You were so young when you started telling me I was "pretty"...and I sure didn't think it was true at the time - those awkward years can be brutal! But still, you loved me for me :-)

I love your sense of humor. Your contagious laugh. Your sensitive heart. The way you're always looking out for the underdogs.

Oh, and of course...

The one million different facial expressions.

I think about you often, Ethy. I know it's hard sometimes to understand why I'm here and not there...Believe me, it's not always easy especially on days like this, when the sun's shining and I know that I should be out on an adventure in Huntersville with you.

I like thinking back to the last month leading up to my wedding. You and I were having our "adventures" all the time! The last few weeks before the wedding I would sing you songs on the keyboard before you went to bed - remember? I would make up very strange songs with weird lyrics just to make you laugh.. :) And THEN, I would try to say goodnight to you, and as I would go to turn out the light and walk away, two flailing arms came out from the top bunk as you would grab me and wouldn't let me leave! I'm telling you what, I had to be crazy fast to escape those spider arms.